MusicMakesMeLive

What have i done, to see the look of disappointment in your eyes? What have i done, to find the knife so close? What have i done, to find myself so far from you? What have i done to make you see only a child? What have i done?

the talk may turn a different course but the thoughts are the same. all of death and of sadness. the fight i make to stay alive. the remembrance of things done and gone, forgotten by all but those who hold the memories as an escape from the world. the softness of the blackness of sleep as it embraces you in a love silence. a silence witch no thoughts can penetrate.

It comes again this monster inside of me i thought i got ride of. The monster that tells me no one cares. The monster that tells me its okay to cut, when i know its not. The monster that looks me in the eye every time i see myself. The monster that is me, and yet is not. The monster that whispers in my sleep. The monster that haunts my waking nightmares. The monster that has always been there. The monster i thought i killed long before he left. The monster is back and i don't know what to do, some one save me from this monster that is me!

I feel ignored and alone. I feel like I have no voice. I feel like no one cares again. I know that's not true. Teachers talk about how its normal to feel ignored, and that it's how you grow a voice. Well I can have a voice, in fact I KNOW i have a voice! I might not like yelling! I might be soft spoken! But I have a voice! If people would stop and listen they would notice that I'm NOT a "normal" teenager! I can be wise! The words of truth are often those of the young! Ugh why wont people see me for me! a goofie, lovable, nice, caring, virtuous, rule loving, daddy/mommy's girl! Someone that would listen and not tell your secrets! Someone who H